i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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