Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
