It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
