mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize