you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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