I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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