i need an iv and a liver transplant
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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