Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
