so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
