it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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