Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize