I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Is it because I queefed?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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