It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
