we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
