Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
