My first STD was from a foam party
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just want nice things and good sex
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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