I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
