You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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