my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
