I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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