and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
