Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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