he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My liver just had a heart attack.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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