i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
