If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
