Kiss
Puke
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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