Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
