Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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