let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
