I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
