so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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