she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
