She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
