went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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