You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize