I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
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blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
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The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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