I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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