u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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