don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
