Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
