okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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