Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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