Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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