I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
