i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
