Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
