cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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