Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
