Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
