She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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