Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?

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  (773): Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home? http://tfl.nu/5b5c
  Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (1009)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.

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  (716): it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis. http://tfl.nu/lwww
  Replies (57) Good night (6198) Bad night (1140)
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  (831): View more from California

  I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.

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  (831): I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco. http://tfl.nu/qnto
  Replies (34) Good night (3429) Bad night (621)
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  (949): View more from California

  Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.

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  (949): Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever. http://tfl.nu/rea8
  Replies (358) Good night (24717) Bad night (7838)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.

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  (914): Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall. http://tfl.nu/ft7q
  Replies (12) Good night (3256) Bad night (640)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?

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  (815): He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for? http://tfl.nu/k6v7
  Replies (16) Good night (1259) Bad night (3906)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.

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  (705): She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air. http://tfl.nu/d5pp
  Replies (10) Good night (4593) Bad night (899)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.

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  (678): So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God. http://tfl.nu/decj
  Replies (11) Good night (1125) Bad night (3561)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf

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  (905): No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf http://tfl.nu/d4pp
  Replies (8) Good night (914) Bad night (3933)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.

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  (519): I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub (1-519): I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first. http://tfl.nu/l0a0
  Replies (5) Good night (1721) Bad night (916)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.

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  (856): Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes. http://tfl.nu/sl8l
  Replies (2) Good night (1033) Bad night (513)
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  (845): View more from New York

  brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears

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  (845): brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears http://tfl.nu/i2bc
  Replies (3) Good night (392) Bad night (745)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?

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  (802): When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean? http://tfl.nu/44u3
  Replies (4) Good night (1319) Bad night (425)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.

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  (504): I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina. http://tfl.nu/2cbm
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (369)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.

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  (812): we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever. http://tfl.nu/pdge
  Replies (1) Good night (938) Bad night (323)

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