A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.