Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I like to think it a success when the cops are called

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  (602): I like to think it a success when the cops are called http://tfl.nu/b8sa
  Replies (3) Good night (1366) Bad night (567)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much

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  (703): My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much http://tfl.nu/7w3a
  Replies (3) Good night (510) Bad night (1286)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.

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  (412): Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color. http://tfl.nu/uexv
  Replies (20) Good night (1472) Bad night (2879)
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  (408): View more from California

  When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.

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  (408): When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus. http://tfl.nu/kpmf
  Replies (26) Good night (9061) Bad night (795)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape

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  (617): May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape http://tfl.nu/qfom
  Replies (12) Good night (4362) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot

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  (937): i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot http://tfl.nu/0845
  Replies (12) Good night (4064) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?

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  (906): How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum? http://tfl.nu/z56i
  Replies (56) Good night (1053) Bad night (9794)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.

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  (651): I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me. http://tfl.nu/og6e
  Replies (11) Good night (1305) Bad night (3884)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting

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  (719): We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting http://tfl.nu/vcgc
  Replies (6) Good night (4829) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.

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  (416): You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams. http://tfl.nu/dmv7
  Replies (4) Good night (1915) Bad night (523)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero

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  (732): I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero http://tfl.nu/o55w
  Replies (10) Good night (1650) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.

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  (661): He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/6vas
  Replies (25) Good night (3482) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration

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  (610): You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration http://tfl.nu/k4dg
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"

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  (512): Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants" http://tfl.nu/ccmr
  Replies (3) Good night (733) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?

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  (812): Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner? http://tfl.nu/i2e0
  Replies (13) Good night (543) Bad night (297)

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