Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Someone shit on the floor
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
