How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
