Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
