everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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