I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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