He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
