lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
