It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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