I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
